If you have just suffered from a break up you will feel like there is no hope. It is natural to get depression or hide yourself away for a period of time. Sometimes you do not even want to talk to friends and family as it is like a grieving process. Please understand that this is normal. There is no reason to get angry with yourself or feel like a failure, it happens to most of us at some point in our lives.
When you break up with someone it can be like a death in the family. It is a grieving process which you have to go through in order to heal and get back to normal. There are no easy answers, but it is very true that time does heal. There is a certain amount of time that you should give yourself to allow yourself to get better and this differs from person to person. It does not help when the people that you are around are always advising you to move on and that there is plenty more fish in the sea. These kinds of empty platitudes do not help anyone at all. In fact, they only serve to alienate you further from your friends because they fail to comprehend what you are going through. What you need is practical advice and tips that you can use to help yourself.
When a family member dies you do not get told to get over it or stop being down, so why is it that this is what you commonly hear when you break up? We all know that break up is not as devastating as a close death, but the emotions involved are extremely similar. When you loss someone that you love it can be horrific and akin to grief. This grieving process cannot be brushed aside quickly, it takes time and patience.
Your primary preoccupation after your break up is trying to understand what happened, going back over exactly what your ex said and dissecting everything. There may likely be a lot of shock associated with the split if you did not expect it. It is normal to feel bruised and your self confidence will probably take a big knock. Worse still, you do not behave like you normally would during this difficult time. You can become erratic, emotional and obsessive with your ex, desperate to have any contact with them whatsoever. This is the most damaging thing that you can do and it can severely damage the way that your ex views you and can seriously turn them off.
Do You Think That This Behaviour Is Attractive To Your Ex?
Your sense of self respect is crucial after a break up, and something that you should keep at the forefront of your mind. Do not act in a desperate or alarming fashion, give you and your ex some space and do not say anything that you will regret. The best thing to do is remain calm and try to say as little as possible. If you act in an irrational and obsessive way your ex will be worried and hugely wary of you.
How Does Your Ex See You Now?
In case you are wondering, the wrong things for you to do at this time would be to hassle your ex or consistently come up with pitiful excuses to speak to them. It will be very obvious to them if you start to do this and only make you look foolish in their eyes. Coincidentally bumping into them or hanging around where they work or live will also spell disaster for you. You do not want to appear crazy or pathetic in any way to them or they will definitely not want you back or be attracted to you at all. You must work on your self respect after break up to allow your ex to see you in a different light and reconsider their decision.
What Are The Tricks That Work?
If you think about when you first got together this will be a great starting point for you to try to get your ex back. What was it that they saw in you that attracted them in the first place? Can you remember what they said to you or why they thought you were so special? The trick is to compare yourself now to how you were then and figure out what went wrong and how things have changed. It is natural to get comfortable with someone and not put the same amount of effort into the relationship as we did at the start. The most important thing to note is that you have to make your ex see you in this way again, but they have to see it through actions and not words.
We all desire what we cannot have, or that which we have to work hard for. When we have to put effort into getting it we end up valuing it a lot more. It is the same with relationships. Have you ever heard of the term ‘playing hard to get?’. This concept is widely used, especially amongst women to pique a man’s interest and make the opposite realise that you are worth the wait or special. In the same way, you should not go crawling to your ex or seem weak, it may seem counter intuitive, but you must make them realise that you are a person of value and that you have a great deal of respect for yourself. If you are not aware of your inherent value as a human being, how will anyone else see it?
What Are The Other Strategies?
There are a plethora of effective tricks that will give you the upper hand in your attempt to get your ex back, so it is impossible to go into them all in this article. Basically, when you understand exactly how the opposite sex works and how they think post break up, you can drastically change your circumstances and reverse the break up easier than you think. You can learn how to understand body language and read into the things that your ex says that will show you that they are reconsidering their decision. When we become experts in the psychology of the opposite sex, especially when it comes to attraction, we can see huge results.
Want to find out more about how to get your ex back?, then visit our Love Is Hurt site on how to win back your ex successfully, even if it seems as though your situation is hopeless.