In my twenties I carried on reading books on philosophy and religion, but I tended towards Buddhism and Hinduism, which seemed very closely related to my family’s spiritualist beliefs. I practiced yoga, but being physically lazyish by nature, I preferred the more psychic exercises.
I meditated. I would not drink alcohol for 48 hours before the evening that I had asked for permission to meditate; then I would exercise, bathe and lie down in a dimly lit room. I used to begin by relaxing my body.
The course of action that worked best for me was to imagine tiny factory workers in overalls at each muscle and, starting from my feet, I would send them off for lunch. I would walk them all up into my head and out of my ears so that I was ‘paralyzed’. Then, I imagined a fissure opening up in the middle of my mind and I forced my thoughts jump over it as it grew wider.
Petty thoughts disappeared quickly, but even persistent, deep-seated worries would eventually fall down the crack. Then I would be left alone in me. I never got rid of ‘me’ strive as I might. The next step for me would be to pose a question.
An example is: ‘How can I tell the difference between a significant dream and my mind merely processing the day;s activities?’ Almost always I would see myself, from the back or over head, sitting in a cinema or a theatre alone.
Then someone would appear on stage and start a film. The person would commentate and stop and restart the film until I understood the answer to my question. The person was nearly always the same one, but if it was not, I made him tell me his name before I would pay any attention.
In this state, people who saw me reckoned that I was asleep, but I could hear each noise that was made in the house and on the street outside. People said I snored as well, but I could hear myself snoring.
To this day, if I relax deeply, I snore but I can hear everything and am not asleep. My wife often turns the TV off while I am listening to it. I know that lots of men say that, which makes it more, not less, true. It proves that meditation is natural and that we can all do it if we give ourselves the opportunity.
When I was a teenager, I got into the habit of scribbling my dreams down, because I have the type of memory that remembers items when I have written them down. I can throw the paper away then and I will remember|.
Anyway, I am able to remember my dreams now without having to write them down, but what is more valuable than that in my mind is that I have always known if I am dreaming. One last thing, when I walk in my dreams it is on two legs but if I run it is on all fours like a dog. Many people have called me ‘wolf’ or ‘bear’ in my life, have they seen something? (My wife says she sees me as a wolf too)’
I do not mean anything weird, but it is a bit of a coincidence or not? Last year, I was talking to a girlfriend of my wife and she said that she runs on all fours in her dreams too. She was flabbergasted when I said I did too. How many more are there?
Owen Jones, the writer of this piece, writes on a variety of subjects, but is now involved with non-religious beliefs. If you want to know more go to What is Religious Belief?